It’s that time of year again, the magical time of pumpkin spice latte’s and leggings. For myself however, this season is one of the toughest seasons of the year. It’s not magical, it’s a season of depression and anxiety. I have found, each year about this time I start to get into a rut so I am setting a goal to continue to push forward through it.
This rut actually goes back to days of grade school. We are entering that time where going to school is a grueling task. You wake up, go to school, do your homework, head to bed and repeat. For college it was mid terms during this time. We all know how stressful that can be.
After college and even into the beginning of my professional career I was going to work at an ad agency in Fargo which during this time I would be working overtime preparing for holiday campaigns. Don’t get me wrong, I loved working at the agency but it is a beast of anxiety, there were good days and bad. After my day at the agency I would head off to my second job bartending so I could afford to pay my student loans. Then I would finally sneak in some sleep and repeat the cycle the next day.
I hit the gym when I found time which seemed to help but the buildup of years of the same pattern created a constant reminder of the past when all the smells of fall start arising. Did you know that your sense of smell can trigger memories and emotions? This is what keeps happening over and over, I am reminded each year of the stress and anxiety of all the years previous at this time on top of the current issues and it keeps building on top of each other.
This year I have been working very hard to NOT get into that slump again. Though, I do feel my thoughts still slipping at times.
All my trips coming up this winter and spring have me extremely anxious and worried about funds this year. I will be flying to Houston Texas in a couple weeks to visit my mom, step-dad and siblings after finding a $98 fare from Minneapolis using Airfarewatchdog. In December I am road tripping out to Colorado utilizing my Mountain Collective Pass at a few resorts there. In January, I will be road tripping out Jackson Hole for my first time. Then in April I am flying out to Cancun for one of my bests weddings. On top of the trips, I would like to make some updates to my townhouse which is never as cheap as I think it’s going to be.
On top of costs, thoughts of the time I will be taking off in order to take all these trips have me depressed that I have not been able to fully transition to a full time freelance designer and photographer which I had hoped by this time would be my way of life so I could work as I travel and do more of it. I had also hoped by now I would be continuously posting on this blog but I have not, and for that I apologize.
I am not writing today to complain, I am writing to tell you that I have been there and still deal with issues today. Though my social pages may look glamorous, that is not everyday life. I was inspired by one of my favorite bloggers Erin Outdoors and her post Keep Going today. I too wanted to be here to say if you are reading this and connecting, to keep pushing forward.
PLAN AHEAD TO PUSH FORWARD
I will continue to push forward therefore I am making a promise to have a post to you every other week to grow this community of readers, to share my adventures, to share life struggles and to offer advice when I am able but to also learn from you, my readers. My co-blogger Chelsie will be posting on my off weeks.
I am fighting for happy thoughts and to keep my stress levels low with regular workouts that create happy endorphins. Currently I am doing the 21 Day Fix and the day that this post launches will be the end of my first round! I also find releases in running outdoors. I highly recommend running for anxiety relief. If you are not much of a runner, see how I tricked myself into enjoy running. Can’t forget about longboarding the Minneapolis trails and admiring the colors too. I am trying to change my smelly memories (haha couldn’t help myself) into those associated with healthy movements and beautiful views.
I am setting goals each week that are attainable yet give me a challenge to push forward. Writing goals down weekly and monthly in my Passion Planner* helps me stay on track. Some goals are as simple as not giving into sweets. Others are sticking to a workout plan or finishing a big freelance project.
If you are struggling at this time, remember you are not alone. I am making a commitment to myself to take one day at a time. To focus on meeting small goals, that when met the big things will fall into place. I hope this helps you to make a commitment to yourself too in hopes of helping you push forward.
*If you decide purchase a Passion Planner please put my email as a referral firstname.lastname@example.org